top 10 post-baby revelations

1. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing EVER.
Women say it all the time but it's impossible to grasp just how difficult breastfeeding is until you've tried it. You'd think it'd be simple -- baby hungry, milk, boob, done. Not even close. Babies have to learn to breastfeed, learn to suck efficiently, learn to latch. Mom's need adequate milk supply, the right positioning, the ability to accurately read baby's cues so he doesn't get upset or frustrated. It's insane. My problem was milk slow to come in and Camden hasn't really figured out how to latch and suck efficiently. The combination of the two has been overwhelming! We've done finger feeding and syringe boob feeding. Both are exhausting cause it takes two people. So Brian and I were up for every feeding and had to work together to get the syringe right. We were told to feed every 2 hours: 1) to get my milk up and 2) because the baby lost a little more than 10% of his birth weight and needed to gain it back. But feedings took forever and by the time time we were done feeding, we'd have to prep for the next one. It seriously was non-stop.

We met with a lactation consultant, I'm taking fenugreek (to increase milk supply) and things are getting better but it's slow going. Now we're doing bottle feeding to take the edge off and then I try to get him to latch. If he refuses after a few tries, we just let him finish off the bottle to make sure he keeps gaining weight. The bottle is supposedly also to help him get used to opening wide and sucking. (We started to notice he was getting WAY to dependent on sucking on our finger, even to sooth with the finger feeding method) There are different opinions on giving the bottle (the whole "nipple confusion" thing, etc.) but since doing so, I found that both baby and parents are much happier. We're no longer "forcing" him to latch and are no longer trying and feeding for an hour. Baby does latch occasionally so I'm hoping we're moving in the right direction and the bottle won't screw him up.

For anyone who wants a couple of good breastfeeding info sites we've found (Brian's done a TON of research -- he's been so great with all of this!) check out:

http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html
http://www.llli.org/

2. Lactation consultants are worth the money.
Ours came to the house. She was wonderful. She even gave us her cell number to ask follow up questions and was a great support when baby would not feed and was screaming his little head off. Lactation consultant, get one.

3. The term "sleep deprivation" doesn't even begin to cut it.
We may have made it harder on ourselves with the whole breastfeeding drama, but the first 8 days were horrible in terms of sleep. One night I was up with baby until 7am cause we kept feeding and putting him down but he would not sleep! He'd fuss and cry, and we're new parents so we're still figuring out what's bothering him. I've never been so exhausted in my life! These days, when my head hits the pillow, it's like a wave of exhaustion is engulfing me. I literally feel sleep pulling me down into oblivion. Deprivation? Please. They should call it the sleep abyss.

4. Hello, biceps!
Carrying, lifting, cradling, feeding...it makes sense that your arms would get tired after awhile. I mean, I am handling an almost 7 lb baby all day long. But I'm amazed at just how sore my biceps are. I mean, they hurt. So much so that it's hard to even stretch them out. Who needs to work out when you have a baby around?

5. Boobs are no longer sexy. They are just food.
After baby, I walk around the house half naked all the time. My boobs are just hanging out everywhere and I really don't care. Between feeding and pumping, and in the beginning sore, cracked and bleeding nipples (TMI, anyone?) putting on a top was just a pain in the ass extra step that I deemed unnecessary. My boobs just feel like tools rather than curves. They are just hard-t0-tap containers of food.

6. I LOVE my medela hands free pump!
This is by far the greatest thing about breastfeeding so far. At first I thought perhaps I splurged on an expensive pump that I didn't really need. Oh, I need it alright! I pump after every feeding for at least 10 minutes. This hands free one clips onto your nursing bra or top and has a battery operated pump that you strap around your waist. I can walk around, eat, wash bottles...in fact, I'm pumping as I type this! It is unbelievably convenient and I think, encourages milk flow. They say the more relaxed you are, the faster your milk will come in. Well, in the beginning when the pump battery wasn't charged enough I'd have to sit on the couch and pump. All I could do was continuously check the timer on the pump to see how much longer I had to sit there. Ten minutes seemed to take forever. But hands free, the time flies by and I'm able to not even think about my milk. The downside, I feel like Bruce Lee in Dragon with stuff strapped to him for his electric pulsating workout or like an alien/bionic woman all the time.

7. Ibuprofen is my friend.
I've never been one for taking medication unless I absolutely need it. That may partly be because meds affect me pretty drastically. I once took some drixoral when I had a cold and it made me loopy -- slurred speech and all. So, when I got home from he hospital I neglected to take my IB every 4-6 hours as recommended. I'd skip one or two without thinking about it and quickly realized that was a mistake! The pain from labor would creep back in and remind me that, yes, i did push a baby out of me. I now only have a few pills left in that bottle.

8. They should give out medals for swaddling.
Young babies love to be swaddled. That's what they teach you in every baby class and parents these days swear by it. It's supposed to mimic the feeling of the womb -- all nice, tight, warm and cozy. But let me tell you, a good swaddle takes practice! Especially when the person you're swaddling is fussy. Those make for the worst, loose swaddles. At first Brian was great at it, but then something happened and he's taken a turn for the worst. I started off being really bad at it, but found my swaddle groove and can usually turn out a good one. At this point, I'd say I'm a silver medal swaddler and Brian's a bronze. Now we just need to get to gold!

9. Crying is normal.
My friend Rae had a baby 3 weeks before me and told me about the nonstop crying. Her nurse told her it's normal for moms to cry a lot after baby is born. Your hormones are going nuts, your falling into the sleep abyss, physically and mentally recovering from labor and oh yeah, you have a newborn baby to take care of 24-7. Add it all together and the result is uncontrollable water works. I cry pretty much every day, sometimes twice a day. The reasons why vary though for me, most were breastfeeding related. My eyes are so puffy and swollen most of the time and what does that do? Makes me want to cry more because it's yet another thing that's screwed up. Ai yai yai!

10. This baby will probably break me. :)
It's an ongoing joke amongst my close friends that I'm "dead inside." I'm not one of those girls who cries at movies or weddings or funerals. I'm not nice if I don't wanna be (where Brian's always nice so it's a good balance!) I pretty much tell you how it is (which can sometimes get me in trouble) and I'm actually proud to be "dead inside." It's just me. But being a mom is so different than anything else I've experienced. I love the baby unconditionally and of course, feel total responsible for his well being. I cried both times the baby had to have blood drawn from his heel for tests. The nurse pokes his heel and extracts the blood. Camden screams like I've never heard him scream before and there's nothing I can do about it. He needs to have it done, I know exactly why he's screaming and I have to just sit back and watch it go down. I can't help myself. I cried both times. While I do not intend to turn into some weepy mommy, I can tell...this baby is definitely gonna break me.