sometimes soft, sometimes bitchy.

Thank you pregnancy hormones. This past week there have been noticeable differences in my emotional state of being. The other night I had a mini freak out about having the baby. I went to dinner with a friend (who is a week ahead of me in her pregnancy) and she matter-of-factly stated, "We only have 4 full months left without a child." Holy crap.

I went home and repeated that same line to Brian. A similar reaction. 4 months!! That's not a lot of time. In fact, it'll go by like a flash of lightening. And then the baby will be here and I will be a parent...FOREVER. Not that this is news or anything. I mean, duh. But to really think about it in that way is quite scary! No more sleeping in, no more going out whenever we want, no more selfishness, no more just "married couple"...we'll be a family. And that's wonderful! I'm excited for that, but it's hard to describe the thoughts and feelings you have when your life is about to change so drastically. So, I freaked out. I mean, almost hyperventilating and crying freaking out. Brian was very calm about it all. I cried (which is rare unless I'm pissed off) and then it was over. I somewhat blame the hormones. I never freak out like that.

Then on Saturday, I watched last week's Grey's Anatomy. The episode had a little girl dying and her dad who was fighting with everything he had to figure out a way to stop the inevitable. Check out this video from about 5:16 and you'll see what I mean.



Now that I'm going to be a mom, I could imagine what that would be like. Again, I cried. That was when I knew it was hormones. I NEVER cry at tv shows and movies. The baby is making me soft.

On the flip side, the baby is also making me uber bitchy. The last couple of days, I'm WAY more irritable than usual. Newscasters on tv (this is the killer for me...why are all reporters so damn annoying??), commercials, people at the grocery store...everyone annoys me. There's no real reason for why they annoy me, they just do. I should have a sign on my forehead that warns people to stay away from me unless they want to get their heads bitten off.

Lucky for Brian, he's not annoying me...yet. ;)