sleep schedules. how i love them.

I sure do. I seriously could not handle parenting without my kids on predictable schedule! Thankfully, both my kids took to "nap training" fairly well and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a life saver. C didn't really sleep through the night until he was a year old. And now that I have my 2nd, I realize that some of that was definitely our fault. As much as I thought was "training" him well, I know now that I went to him too much when he fussed or cried. Granted, he seemed to cry more than E does and all babies are different. But I think there were numerous times when I should have just let him be and he would have figured out how to self soothe much quicker. E sure did! Anyway, here's a snapshot of E's sleep schedule at almost 5 months. Again, posterity.

7-8am -- Wake. She usually wakes around 7 or 730 but some days she'll sleep in til 8! I feed her 7 oz when she wakes up cause she's gone 12 hours without food. woohoo!!

8:30 or 9ish -- Nap. Depending on what time she gets up, she'll nap about 1.5-2 hours later. In the last week, I've noticed she's been stretching it more to 2 hours where before she really couldn't go more than 1.5.

10ish -- Wake. Her morning nap used to be really long but she's adjusted her schedule so that now she only naps an hour in the morning. Feed her within a half hour upon waking.

11:30-12ish -- Nap. Most days she's tired by 11:30 but recently, as I said, I've noticed she's stretching her awake periods longer. This is her longest nap of the day at consistently 2 hours.

1:30-2ish -- Wake. Again, feed within the hour. Good days are when I can feed her at 2:30. Gets her to bedtime without getting too fussy or hungry!

3:30-4ish -- Nap. Third and final nap of the day. Another short one, very consistently no more than an hour.

4:30ish -- Wake. Interestingly, she wakes from this nap fussier than the rest. Sometimes she only sleeps 45 minutes and wakes up crying where all her other naps she wakes up so happy and quiet that sometimes I don't even realize she's up! I don't worry about it though since it's her last nap of the day.

6:00pm-ish -- She starts to get cranky! She's getting hungry and tired which is a bad combo. Bathtime! Sometimes she gets a bath even earlier if she seems really tired. Like I said, this girl can SLEEP.

6:15ish -- Last feeding of the day, 7 oz. (Her other feedings are 6-7oz, btw) And then it's a couple of books, a song and in off to bed! Some nights she's sleeping by 6:30 but my goal is for her bedtime to be 7pm. She seems happy to be sleeping by 6:30 most nights though! And that's fine by me as long as she keeps sleeping through the night. I figure as she gets older, she'll stretch it out to 7pm, which will be perfect.

And that's her day in a nutshell! The end.

4.5 months

Poor E. The second child gets no blog love. She also hardly has any photos/videos of her compared to C. Your birth order really does shape who you are and your view of life. Her seat will always have a brother in it. I hope she likes that.

Anyway, here's a quick download of a few things about E so I don't feel so guilty about my non-documentation. In no particular order, here's what's going on with our little girl at 4.5 months!

1. She SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT. Did you hear that? 12 hours straight! Sometimes 13!! Started doing this at 2.5 months! C never did that. Still doesn't! The longest he does is 11 hours and these days that's rare. This girl loooves to sleep. She'll go down usually around 6:30p and wake up around 7-7:30. Then she'll take 3 naps during the day and can't stay awake more than 1 1/2 hours in between most of the time. Sleeper! :) In the last week I've noticed she's having longer stretches in the day between naps but I'm hoping her night sleeping won't change. Ever.

2. She is so smiley! Really, she is. She will pretty much smile at everyone she sees. She's probably just super happy cause she sleeps so darn much. Who wouldn't be?

3. She's really alert. I know, every parent probably says that about their kid. But I swear, it's true. C's a smart kid and was alert as a baby too. But this girl seems to really understand what's going on at a much younger age than C. When we read her books, she seems to truly be taking it in. Goodnight Moon is her absolute favorite! She pays more attention to the tv than C did at this age (scary!! and a bummer cause it means mommy can't watch tv when she's awake). And sometimes I really think she's trying to say real words like "hi" and "mama" vs just sounds. Maybe I'm just being your typical "my kid's a genius" mom; likely that's the case. Still, worth noting though.

4. She's very rashy. :( C was rashy until about 3 months and then it cleared up. Hers is much worse -- on her face, inner elbows and behind her knees. Some of it is heat rash but I think most of it has to do with my diet. She's on more breastmilk than C was and his really cleared up when he was off it. Hoping she's not an allergy baby like her daddy! We got lucky with C and he's not allergic to anything thus far. Only time will tell.

5. She loves music. Much like her brother, E seem to love, love music! She gets really smiley and excited when she hears a song she likes. Interestingly, she likes "regular" songs that mommy sings off of the radio more than baby songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Not sure what to make of that, but as long as she's into music, I'd say that's a good thing.

6. She puts herself to sleep. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. From when she was only a couple of months old we started noticing that when we tried to soothe or help her to sleep, sometimes it just made it worse. So we let her figure it out and after a few minutes of fussing, she'd put herself to sleep! To this day as long as you get her down early enough, we can literally put her in her crib wide awake and she will go to sleep usually without any crying. We are amazed and so grateful! (Please E, do not change!)

7. She loves, loves her brother. As much as she recognizes my voice from her time in the womb, I am convinced that is true for C's voice as well. After all, his head and little voice was right by my belly during my entire pregnancy. She gets so happy whenever C is around! She lights up like he's the best thing in her life next to milk, maybe better. Heart.

 My perfect girl. Completes our family and we love her so much. 

E's first laughs

LOVE.

life with two

Second children. I feel for them. It is so true what they say about birth order shaping who you become as a person. I swear, first borns are much more doted on and "spoiled" simply because mommy and daddy only had you to shower with attention. But when there's two kids in the house, poor child #2 is sometimes left to cry for longer periods of time, not carried as much, not played with as much and is somewhat expected to do things faster than baby #1.

For example, E's actually a pretty good baby. She's very smiley, loves to cuddle (C did not!) and sleeps for longer stretches much earlier than C ever did. Yet, I seem to unrealistically expect her to get on a schedule and sleep through the night by 3 months. With C? That would be crazy talk.

Thankfully, E has taken to my pushy behavior quite nicely! I got on her on a pretty good schedule that goes like this (again, just documenting for posterity):

8:30am  -- Wake.

8:45ish -- Feed 5 oz. breastmilk. Yup! 5 ozs!! This girl eats WAY more than C did at this age.

9:00am -- Put down so mommy can pump. I really should get up before she does and pump but I'm up at 6:30am to see C off to preschool too. After that, I just want to go back to sleep! During this pumping time, I make my breakfast and usually have to move E around to 3 different spots cause she gets bored. She sometimes also just wants me to sit in front of her where she can see me while I pump. If not, she cries. What a high-maintenance girl!

9:30am -- Play with E.

10:00am -- Nap her. She's held for most naps (as I did with C) but even this she's being pushed earlier. I'm trying to put her down more to nap so I can get stuff done around the house. With a toddler messing it up every 5 seconds, the clutter and chaos bothers me so much more than when it was just me, B and baby C.
 
11:30am -- If I hold her, she'll nap and hour or so. The last 2 days, she hasn't wanted to eat as frequently and has dropped a mid-morning feeding. Usually I pump somewhere around this time.

12:00pm -- Feed 5 oz. formula. I have so much more breastmilk this time around that E gets a good amount. But she still needs 1-2 formula bottles a day. I space them out strategically due to 1) her gas. And 2) timing of when she poops as formula seems to make her want to go.

12:30pm -- Play, sling, etc.
 
1:30pm -- Nap! Again, another hour or so here if it's a good nap.

3:00pm -- This is a good time to put her down and pump. It all kind of varies though.

3:30pm --Feed 5 oz. breastmilk or formula.

4:00pm -- Play with E.

4:30pm -- Short nap. Try to put her down so I can cook dinner!

5:30pm -- This is ideal. I'd like her up at 5:30 (or earlier depending on how her day goes) so she has an hour and half before her 7ish bedtime that I'm shooting for.

Then this is the time of day it gets crazy. Cam is home, he needs to eat dinner. It's nonstop 3-year old talking and managing both kids at the same time. Evenings are HARD.

6:15ish -- B usually gives E a bath while I pump and take care of C.

6:45pm -- One of us gives C a bath while the other feeds E 5 oz. breastmilk and gives her gas drops (E seems to need them but C never did)

7:00pm-ish -- E's bedtime! On weekdays, I put her down cause she goes down easier with me. While I do that, B gets C ready for bed and reads him a couple of books.

7:30pm -- E's usually down for a bit and I go in to sing C a few songs and put him down for the night.

From 7-8:30pm, E usually sleeps and fusses, sleeps and fusses and one of us needs to go in and soothe her back down. I swear it's the gas. If I tried to put her down later I truly believe we would then be up with her until 10. I'm hoping she grows out of this!

8:30pm -- She's been consistently quiet by this time the past few nights!

9:30pm -- Last pump before bed.

3:00am (or somewhere around that time) -- Wake for a 5 oz. breastmilk feeding. Pump. If I do both on my own, it takes me at least an hour, usually more like 1 1/2. So that means I'm not back to bed til 4:30am. This SUCKS. Some nights, I wake B up to help by feeding her while I pump and he's great about it.

6:00am -- B's up to get C ready for school.

6:30amish -- I get up to help get C out the door and say goodbye. Then it's back to sleep for me!

8:30am -- Wake for a new day and it starts all over again!

See? Really not a bad schedule at all for a 2-month old. But we are crazy exhausted!! I swear, it's just having two kids that's the killer. I don't know how we thought we were tired with one and I also don't know how people have more than two!


Re-reading this, it's been a scattered post, I admit. Oh, well. No one's reading it anyway. ;P

1 month and random thoughts.

E is 1 month today! that seemed to have gone by fast yet slow. that makes zero sense yet is the truth. 1 mo appt today and she's 8lb 8oz. i thought that was kinda heavy but apparently it's only the 30%. considering she was less than 7 lbs two weeks ago though, she's sure growing quick. this chic can take down 3.5 - 4 oz of milk at a time these days. but last night she slept from about 10pm to 2:30am and then again from 3:30 - 6:30am! B and I hope that was not some freak accident and instead her new sleeping pattern. a nice 4-5 hour stretch would be heaven.

pumping continues. i am pumping as i type this. the good thing about my milk this time around is there seems to be more of it. the crappy thing is i now leak every 3 hours. it's quite disgusting actually, and uncontrollable.

the heat is starting to get to me. poor baby has heat rash all over in addition to her cradle cap on and behind her ears. nothing i can do about either though. and me? i just feel gross by the end of the day. not only am i in the house all day in comfy clothes (cause what's the point otherwise when i have to hold baby most of the day?), hair pulled back and likely not even brushed, no makeup and feeling like a dead mommy, but add spit up and breasmilk leaking all over to them mix and it can get depressing.

i long for a pedi, hair straightening and cut to make me feel like me again. i've always had trouble with the "losing my identity" part of motherhood. this time around, it's much easier and not as much as a shock. but there are still remnants of those identity woes that resurface from time to time.

okay, pumping done. now to try and get a few things done around the house before E wakes up. the mess is driving me batty!!

the juggling act: my first real day as a mommy of 2.

today was my first day alone all day with the 2 kids. i may have been a mom before, but now juggling a 3-week old and 2-year old, i feel like i've moved up a weight class.

here's my day in a nutshell starting from when i went to bed last night. (well, it may not be a nutshell but i feel the need to write it down for posterity)

9:30pm -- exhaustedly fall into bed after trying to get E to sleep. she is much more fussy at night for some reason and getting her to sleep even after a feeding takes rocking, bouncing, running the water faucet and other tricks up our sleeves.

12:30am -- wake up to the sound of C crying from his bedroom. mommies can always hear when their kids are crying. Daddies? not so much. i swear it sounded like he fell off the bed or something so i run to his room to see what's wrong. must have been a nightmare cause he was sitting on his bed and wanted me to sing to him. spend 10 minutes getting him calm and back to sleep.

12:45am -- back to bed.

1? 1:30? -- I don't remember but E wakes up. i change her diaper and while B makes her bottle. then B feeds her while i pump. I love that husband of mine. with baby #1, i got up and did feedings on my own more but with 2 kids? no way. i need the sleep to be able to make it through the day! pump for 15 minutes, rinse the pumping equipment, put together E's next bottle of breastmilk (woohoo! a feeding of mommy milk! my hard work in a bottle!), take E from the hubby and rock her to sleep.

2:15am-ish -- back to bed.

5:00am -- wake up to E crying. SO TIRED. beg B to get up and feed her the already prepared bottle. Please oh please! i'll skip the pumping this time. he does it without complaint. have i mentioned how much i love him?

6:30am -- awake to sounds of C outside running around, singing, opening my bedroom door to see me and sister. how much my life has changed that 6:30am is SLEEPING IN.

6:45am -- pump while making my breakfast which definitely includes coffee. try my best to be awake enough to interact with C so he doesn't feel completely neglected. B's feeding C breakfast as they watch tv. TV watching has exponentially increased in our house since having baby #2. sorry folks, that's just reality. it's awesome that my hubby is able to be home in the mornings to help with the 2 kids for awhile. if i had to do it all alone i think i'd crack!

7:15am -- E gets up. I make her bottle as B changes her. i think B fed her cause i was still finishing up pumping? that's mommy brain for you. thankfully, E usually goes back to sleep at this point in the day. life would be lovely if i could go back to sleep with her like i used to with C. but with 2 kids? no dice. so, B holds her on the couch while she sleeps. i drop a load of laundry in the washer and wash bottles.

needing to find something else productive to do, i decide to start reorganizing the pantry cause it's been driving me crazy! i start that project and C comes over to see what i'm up to. bless this kid, he loves to help. so, i give him some tasks and he helps me reorganize which is great cause it takes some time away from the WALL-E movie playing the background. every once in awhile, he'll run to the tv to see what's going on, but then runs over to his toys and then back to me for more assistance. i now only feel 33% guilty for having the tv on all morning.

9:00am -- E will likely be up soon so i should get a pump in. another reason it's great having B around in the morning! another set of hands so i can pump is a lifesaver. so, i pump while dropping a freezer meal in the crockpot. so far, these have not been stellar but hey, it's edible.

9:30am -- E is up again. i make her bottle and feed her so B can get ready for work. oh, let me mention that all the while, meaning from the time C gets up in the morning til the time he goes to bed at night, it's nonstop talking, singing, questions, demands, mini-tantrums -- you know, the usual behavior of a 2-year-old. so, as i'm feeding E, C is asking me for snack, or to watch a very specific thing on tv, or his milk or SOMETHING.

9:45am-ish -- B is finally off to work. Much later than he usually goes to work but he has to be at work late this afternoon so it evens out. now the fun begins!!

10:00am -- turn the tv off. that's enough of that. i look at the clock and contemplate whether i'm brave enough to take both kids out for part of the day. i ask C what he wants to do and he of course lists things that are a 15-30 min drive away and not in my current capacity. i decide the most i can handle is taking them both out to lunch. that'll get us out of the house but hopefully E will sleep through it so it's an easy outing. takes a little bit of convincing, but C agrees.

the wheels in my head start turning as i start to plan how this will all go down. what time can i pump cause we need to go and come back within my pumping window, what time will she eat again cause that will very much determine when we leave. i think i've got it figured out so i put E down with my fingers crossed that she stays asleep in her pack n play so i can spend some time with C and get things done around the house.

10:15am -- success! E is sleeping on her own. C wants to finger paint so i set that up for him. while he does that, i wash dishes and reorganize the pantry some more. of course, not much gets done cause i need to help C, answer his questions, wipe his hands, etc. he really only paints for like 20 minutes and then he's over it. he seemed to enjoy it though, even if it was short-lived.

10:45am -- C wants a snack. after much conversation, i find him one. he then helps me reorganize some more. sweet. let me also throw in here that during much of the morning i am shushing C cause i don't want to wake E up. i realize she just needs to deal and it's unrealistic to expect C to talk softly all the time, but he's actually pretty good at being quiet when he wants to be. i'm mildly successful at keeping an "indoor voice" morning household.

11:15am -- E is up! make her bottle, feed her and let C help me feed her to keep him somewhat occupied. i now need to put her down, pump while i get changed and ready to go, pack the kids' bag, and get C and E ready to go asap.

i put E down and she's asleep for the first 5 minutes. i get my pumping stuff on (oh, how i'm starting to hate this process), concede that makeup will not happen and try to just pluck my eyebrows a little and get my hair in a nice ponytail so i'm not a total hot mess. get my tweezers out and one pluck later, i realize C is very, very quiet. too quiet. i go to check on him and he's by his toy kitchen. i ask if he's okay and he tells me he has to poop. of course he does.

okay, so i take him to bathroom and have him do as much as he can himself to get on the toilet and ready to poop. remember now, all the while i still have the pumping contraption strapped to my boobs as i'm trying to help him poop. that sounds just lovely, doesn't it? as i close the door to give C some privacy, i hear E crying.

go to her but can't pick her up because of said pumping contraption. so, i stick a binky in her mouth, pat her and shush her to try and get her back to sleep. thankfully, it seems to work! and just in time to hear, "mommy, i'm done!"

back to the bathroom to help C finish up, wash hands, put clothes on, etc. E's crying again. i ask C if he can help mommy out and play in his room nicely for awhile. i tell him in need to finish pumping and get us ready to go to lunch and it would be great if he could play in his tent. with minimal complaint, he obliges. i love this kid!! i turn the A/C on in his room and he plays nicely in there for awhile.

back to trying to calm E without picking her up. takes me another 5 minutes or so, but she closes her eyes and seems to be back to sleep.

try to get ready again and this time get to plucking 3 hairs under my eyebrows when i hear E crying again. sigh. binky, soothe and pat her back to sleep. please oh please stay asleep or we are never getting out of here! finally, she seems to really be sleeping this time.

my pumping is done so i pour all the milk out, rinse it all and am free of it for another few hours. finally get myself changed and ready to go. meanwhile, C is running back and forth from his room to his toy kitchen and i hear all kinds of clanging. who the heck knows what is going on but at this point, i let him be and hope he's not painting the walls of his room or something.

i get her bottle ready, C's milk and snacks and make sure i have other essentials. comb C's hair, change E's diaper and clothes and get her in her carseat. close up the house and we are off!! get everyone in the car and check the time as i pull out of the driveway -- 12:30pm. good gracious.

12:30pm -- off to lunch at a restaurant only 5 minutes away. and a place i don't even like that much but it's kid-friendly and close by. get there and E's sleeping in her carseat. yay! take her out in it and let her sleep through lunch. we have a drama-free hour, fill our tummies and all is good.

1:30pm -- back at the house already! yup, ALL THAT for one measly hour. get kids out of car and leave E in her seat awhile longer while i get C ready for his nap. potty, diaper on, teeth brushed and in bed. phew!

1:45pm -- PUMP. stupid pump.

2:15pm -- take E out of carseat and put her in pack n play. she's still sleeping but we'll see how long that lasts.

2:30pm -- E stirs and gets up. change her diaper, make her bottle while she cries a bit.


2:45pm -- feed her and put her in the ergo so i can carry her around hands-free and do things like wash dishes, surf the internet and oh, write this blog entry.

4:00pm -- C wakes up from his nap. i don't think B is gonna be home til 5:30 or so today. hmmm...maybe i'll call the in-laws and see if they'll watch him for an hour and give myself a break. :)

all in all, a somewhat stressful but pretty good day. maybe in a month or so i'll graduate to taking the kids out for 2 hours at a time? it gets easier, right??

breastfeeding woes

same song, different tune (or whatever that saying is). trying to breastfeed C nearly drove me to the nut house and the same is true for new baby girl E. it's a bit easier with her cause at least she latches and nurses for long periods, but the way she sucks hurts my nipples and she's only now getting the hang of opening her mouth wide enough to get a semi-good latch. so what does that leave me with? sore, blistered, cracked nipples that are so raw i'm surprised they haven't fallen off. i literally walk around the house all day topless cause any material touching them hurts like hell. poor C must think i'm crazy and asks once in awhile, "where's your shirt?"

for some reason being unable to properly breastfeed make me feel like a failure. it stresses me out -- less so this time around -- but still, i just wish it could be easy and natural. you'd think it would be, right? i mean, if this were 100 years ago, how the heck would either of my kids survive? both of them needed formula. that thought crosses my mind all the time when my kids don't get enough milk from me; it's so baffling.

lactaction consultant coming tomorrow. hopefully she can help fix my latching problem so my nipples don't come out all flat and sore after every feeding. i'm hopeful but trying to be realistic too. cause if the problem can't be solved quickly, screw this breastfeeding crap. C had a bunch of formula and he seems to be just fine. i'd love to be one of those moms who has tons of milk and can breastfeed like it aint no thing. i wonder, are there moms out there whose babies just latch instantly and they experience NO nipple pain, no problems, no thing? if so, i envy them. all the stress and time that comes with the complexities of breastfeeding seriously will give me a nervous breakdown. so, fingers crossed that tomorrow will be good new from from consultant. if not, bye bye breastfeeding -- it is so not worth my sanity!

baby #2: blogging for my sanity

baby #2 is finally here! she's beautiful and perfect and we love her so much. but it's also a rude re-awakening to the horrors of having a newborn in the house. i swear, i am so not cut out for dealing with the first few weeks of baby's life. it's definitely easier the second time around, but only just. thankfully, cam has been incredibly amazing adjusting to his sister being around which has been such a blessing. what a great kid.

here's my quick thoughts on the first 5 days with a new baby and 2 kids in the house:

• the sleep abyss is back and i do not function well without sleep.
• breastfeeding is the devil. DEVIL.
• less worry about the small stuff (how much baby is eating, sleeping, crying, etc.) but added guilt of not being able to spend time with my older one. thankfully, he's been so wonderful and understanding about "sharing mommy."
• my husband is my savior. 
• hormones are a bitch and they affect me greatly. 
• 2 meltdowns in 5 days, and i'm not talking about the kids.
• the jaundice blanket suckidy sucks sucks.
• and i know it sounds horrible, but if i could skip over the first 3 weeks with baby, i would.

field trip friends

Recommended by some mommy friends, Field Trip Friends is a program run by a former school teacher who wanted to get kids outside. She organizes weekly field trips for parents with young children at various locations around the island. I found out that she is in the process of franchising and needed some marketing help in exchange for a free session. Sounded good to me, so I worked out a barter agreement with her and got an 8-week package in return. So far, we've gone on two field trips all on Saturday mornings. It's a challenge to get out of the house and as far as Kahuku on some days by 9:30am, but once we're there, it's pretty great. Camden has loved the field trips so far and it's so nice to be out and about at all of these places we wouldn't be able to go to on our own.

Here's some pics from our field trips so far:

Bubble Man. Hugest bubbles ever! I may need to book this guy for a birthday party in the future.







James Campbell Wildlife Refuge out in Kahuku. I didn't even know this place existed and apparently they only do tours for a short period of time once a year. Fun times!

pbskids.org

Congratulations, advertising execs at PBS Kids. Your repetitive ad tactics work and you have successfully brainwashed my son into remembering your network and website address. Of course, he has no clue he's reciting a url, but just hears this phrase after Sesame Street or whatever kids tv show he gets to watch, which then has a plug for kids to go check out the website for more.

My first reaction to Camden knowing this, as we did not teach it to him and he doesn't even watch PBS on the computer, was to laugh. The "dot org" that comes out in his little voice is ridiculously adorable, there's no denying it. But then I also feel frightened by the fact that at the age of 2, THIS is what he hears...enough so that he's repeating it.

I suppose it's partly my fault for even letting him watch TV and exposing him to your marketing ploys, PBS Kids. But doesn't it also say something about kids being the target of advertising and marketing campaigns in general? I follow Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood and while some of their info is too "purist" for me (Cam loves Elmo and Mickey, so sue me), they have a point about the level of product pushing on kids today. In this day and age with media literally everywhere and at your fingertips, excessive marketing is a reality of life. But it sure does make my job as a parent much harder as it's one more thing I need to monitor. I need to find the balance between making sure Camden keeps up with technology so he's not left behind but limiting him so he's not a materialistic, tech-savvy clone. I want him to be able to explore the outdoors and the world around him without it having to always relate to some tv show character. I want him to prefer imagination over a computer screen.

Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

But here's my Camden throwing a little tantrum over wanting to watch "pbs kids dot org" instead of taking a bath. I share it with a giggle and a chagrin. Again, congratulations PBS Kids. Consider your job done.

it's a girl!

Found out last week that baby #2 will be a girl! I had a feeling it would be a girl cause this pregnancy felt different than the last. I was way more tired and felt sicker in the first trimester whereas with Camden, I felt perfectly fine. Some of those old wives tales may be true too -- the whole "girls steal your beauty." Well, I started breaking out with acne in the first trimester (thank goodness that has subsided!) and that never happened with Camden. With Cam, I also craved salt in the beginning and with this one, sweets!

We'd be happy either way but I must admit, I'm excited for a girl. Nice to be able to experience raising both genders and I think it'll be fascinating to see the differences. Plus, girl clothes are just so much cuter.

Here I am at about 16 weeks. I am showing MUCH earlier this time around thanks to my stretched out abdomen and lack of muscles.

Yay for baby! :)

potty training 101

Let me start by saying potty training SUCKS. Definitely ranks up there as one of my least favorite parts of mommyhood. Not only is it incredibly frustrating, it is unbelievably disgusting and if I could avoid it, I would! But it's a dirty job that someone has to do, and that someone unfortunately, is me.

Let me also say that when I first started potty training Camden, I scoured the internet trying to find an easy "how to" guide that has proven to work for folks. Now, you can find practically anything on the internet. But for some reason, parents seem to not want to share their potty training secrets! I even found this evil lady who promises to potty train your child in "3 days flat" all for the "reasonable" price of $37! My favorite marketing line of her intriguing ploy is: The one question you must ALWAYS ask your child within the first 15 minutes of starting to potty train them.

OMG what IS that one question?? I want to know it! She almost had me with that one. Evil.

I did find a few articles that gave general, so-so tips on potty training. And then I talked to some mommies about it and got their take, but for the most part it's the same line of "every child is different." And that definitely is true; it's the diabolical curse of parenting that keeps you on your toes. In anything and everything, what works for one child may not work for another. Still, for the life of me, I could not find a single blog post, article, chat room conversation where a mother spelled out EXACTLY what she did to potty train her child. Well, no more! Here is my detailed experience of how I attempted to potty train Camden.

My disclaimer: I in no way proclaim that what I'm about to say is right or based in any kind of research and/or expertise. It's how I did it just cause I felt like it. Take it or leave it, people.

My theory: The general consensus to wait til your child shows signs of readiness is spot on. See if they show interest, can pee on command at times, talk about it, etc. -- your kid definitely has to be ready. At the same time though, I personally believe we wait a little too long to potty train these days. Most parents I know train their kids at about 3. There is NOTHING wrong with that, but I think a little earlier can be better. At 2, I think most kids are ready and pliable in the sense that they still listen when told to do things for the most part. By 3, kids are more set in their ways and are pushing boundaries of control much more which, I think, makes potty training more difficult. But that's just my opinion. (Others believe in elimination communication which I think is just plain inconvenient and would stress me out more than anything else. But check it out if you're so inclined.) Me? I trained Camden when he was 2 years and 1 month.

My method: And here we go.
Two weeks before officially training, I would put Camden on his new Elmo potty and see if he could pee on command. I chose a potty that went on the toilet vs one that stood on its own cause in my opinion, he'll have to go on the toilet eventually so why create another step? So, every once in while (probably once every couple days to start, then every day toward the end of the 2 weeks -- there really wasn't a rhyme or reason, just more when it occurred to me to try), I'd take his diaper off and see if he'd pee. And he could!

I decided to start his training on a Saturday to give myself the weekend to lock us in the house and see what happened. I bought him Toy Story and Mickey underwear and all day Friday I told him how he was going to say bye bye to his diaper and get to wear big boy Mickey underwear! He seemed excited about it although I doubt he heard anything more than "Mickey."

Day 1: Saturday morning
Woke him up and told him to say bye bye to diaper! He's a big boy who can pee on the potty now! Put on the underwear and off we went. Oh, I forgot to mention that I opted to not do pull ups as I heard from other mommies that they hinder training cause your child feels dry when they have an accident. Made sense to me, so underwear it was.

This was the most FRUSTRATING DAY EVER. We stayed in the house all day long and I kept telling Cam that he was to pee on the potty and not "wet" (I picked that word at first cause I read somewhere a key word was helpful) Mickey. If I put him on the potty, he would pee no problem. But he did not at all get that he needed to tell me when he had to go. I swear, he literally had 10 accidents that day and we went through 10 pairs of underwear and pants. The good thing was that he was peeing so much that each pee was pretty minimal; his pants would soak up most of the pee which made for easy clean up. But it was incredibly taxing on mommy. Partly, I think I felt like this wasn't working and I had no clue what I was doing. I also started second guessing whether he really was ready. And I was just SO tired of failure after failure.

They say not to show that you're upset when your child has an accident. So, I'd quietly clean it up and then gently remind him again not to get Mickey wet. Cam would nod and seem to understand until he wet himself again an hour later. By the time he went to bed, I felt like I needed a big drink.

Day 2: Sunday morning
Same drill, underwear on and the training continues. But this day, I changed my strategy and instead of just waiting for Cam to tell me when he needed to go, I started putting him on the potty every hour or so. He'd pee whenever I put him on and it made for way less accidents. Hallelujah! We had an event to go to that afternoon at a park. I read somewhere that you want to take your child out on day 2 to show him that if he pees on the potty, he can then go somewhere. Sort of making the connection of peeing before getting into a car. Also made sense to me, so I decided to give it a go. I figured since we were going to a park, an accident wouldn't be the end of the world -- heck, we're outdoors. I was more worried about him peeing IN the car, so I put a folded hand towel on his car seat to help soften the blow, so to speak.

Off we went! Wasn't a very far drive but anything further than 10 steps to a restroom seemed far at this point. We got the park, hung out with friends and Cam held his pee in for a good 2 hours! When it was time to leave and we put him in the car seat, he miraculously told me he had to pee!! We weren't far from a friend's house, so I asked Cam if he could hold it and he said yes. I kept telling him the whole way, "Hold it, now. You don't want to wet Mickey!" And somehow, he did! We got to my friend's house and he peed on the potty. Woohoo!!!

Side note on rewards: Initially, we didn't give Cam stickers or candy when he went potty. He just got a big applause and lots of praise.

Day 3 and the weeks to follow: That was too easy.
Yes as a matter of fact, it was. In the weeks to come, I would continue to put Cam on the potty every hour or two to avoid accidents. My parents would do the same when they babysat for consistency. He'd have an accident here and there, but nothing major -- he seemed to be doing well! He'd tell us when he'd have to go sometimes, but other times not. Accidents happened.

Then, I started trying to wait for him to tell me when he had to go vs putting him on the potty all the time. More accidents. Cam really does not care if he's wet. He will pee in his underwear and just go about his business. But slowly, he started to make an upswing in learning and go a few days with a combination of telling me when he had to pee and me putting him on from time to time. Progress, right? Sort of.

In recent weeks, Cam has taken to NOT wanting to "pee yet," as he says. We'll ask him if wants to pee potty and he says, "I don't want to pee yet." Sometimes, he's right. I've put him on the potty anyway while he complains about it and he really doesn't have to pee (very little comes out). Other times though, he DOES have to go and has a major accident. This seems to be happening more and more!

He's at point now though, where we can't go back. It's been almost 3 months since we first put him in underwear and we can't go back to diapers now. Plus, Camden definitely knows how to pee on the potty and is just exerting his authority to choose when he wants to go.

Pooping on the potty:
I realize I've only been talking about peeing. Pooping is a whole other ballgame! Cam is one of those kids who not only doesn't care if his underwear is wet, he also doesn't care if he poops in his underwear either. I hear of some kids who refuse to poop in anything but their diaper and will hold it in forever. Not my son! He will just poop it out and then continue playing with poop soaking through his Mickey drawers. BUT, if I catch him doing his poop face and put him on the potty, he has absolutely no problem pooping on the potty. This actually frustrates me more, because I know he can do it! He will also sometimes tell me that he has to poop. This has happened multiple times and once, he even told us he had to go while in his car seat and held it until we got to a bathroom! It baffles me, really.

The last couple of days, he's been pooping in his underwear a lot. I'll even ask him if he has to poop, he'll say no, and then two minutes later I'm washing poop off his underwear and starting to lose my cool. So, what's our next step?

M&Ms:
To help move the process along, we've resorted to giving Camden M&M's as a reward for peeing and pooping on the potty. 1 M&M for pee, 2 for poop. It worked like a charm for awhile! It still works, but accidents abound and I must admit, I'm somewhat at a loss as to what to do next.

Time outs:
So, today I started to implement time outs when I believe his accident really wasn't an accident. I know everyone says you can't punish your toddler for having accidents cause they can't help it. Many compare it to learning to walk -- you'd never punish your child for falling down when learning to walk. Potty training, supposedly is the same thing. It's a learning process and you shouldn't punish your child for "falling down." But it's been 3 months and I KNOW Camden is fully aware of what he needs to be doing and how to do it. He KNOWS how to pee and poop on the potty and also knows that he should tell us when he has to go.

This doesn't mean that any time he has an accident that he goes to time out. Of course, accidents happen for years and I understand that. If he's immersed in playing or simply forgets, I tell him it's okay and accidents happen. BUT, when I specifically ask him if he has to go potty and he tells me "no" over and over, then pees all over the carpet? My new strategy is to put him in time out and see what happens. It's possible that this strategy will backfire and he will have more accidents because I'm making potty training a bad experience. I'm desperately hoping that is not the case cause then I'll feel like the worse mother in the world. But I honestly feel like those situations, including when he poops in his underwear (cause pooping takes more time and effort so he KNOWS exactly what he's doing when he poops in his pants) are conscious on his part.

Take this morning, for example. This incident is what made me decide to try time outs. Cam was playing in our hall closet; hiding cause he thinks it's fun. I kept checking on him and asking him if he had to go potty. He, of course, said no.

Me: "Okay, if you pee in that closet and have an accident, you're going to time out. You sure you don't have to pee potty?"

Cam: "No."

Me: "If you pee, you're going to time out."

Cam: "Okay."

Two minutes later, I open the closet door and there's Cam with a rag he found in the closet trying to wipe himself. He had pee'd and KNEW he'd get in trouble so he was trying to wipe up the evidence! Part of me wanted to laugh, but what really clicked then and there was that Camden is a smart kid and knows exactly what he's doing. If he's capable of trying to cover up a mistake, he should be held accountable for his actions. After cleaning him up, he went to time out for 2 minutes.

After his time out, I asked him why he was there. He said "pee potty." I explained that it's okay to have accidents, but when I ask him if he has to go and he tells me no, then pees in his pants, that's not okay and he's going to go to time out.

The verdict: Still a work in progress
Maybe I'm a horrible mom who's scarring her son for life. God, I hope not but I'm out of options here. Some say kids finally learn when they go to preschool cause they're embarrassed when they have an accident in front of other kids. But if it's the trauma of embarrassment that does the trick, isn't that a negative association? Much like putting Cam in time out? Or maybe I'm just plain crazy.

Well, whatever the case and however you choose to potty train your child, the cliche is true: your child won't graduate from high school in diapers.

The end is near, even if I can't always see the light.

getting back into the swing of things

have. not. been. here. in. forever.

I'm literally surprised google has not shut my blog down given this amount of neglect. Then again, what does google care about my piddly little blog?

So what's been going on these past 6 months? Well, as I type this the cd player on my imac continues to make an annoying sound as it tries to spit out a disc that has been stuck in there for 2 weeks. Why is it stuck you ask? Because my now 2-year-old son thought it would be fun to see if he could stick 2 cds in there at the same time while mommy wasn't watching. Impressively, he accomplished this task and mommy had to fish out both discs. Then daddy had the genius idea to put a disc in there to see if the drive still worked. I was against this notion, but then again we'd have to test it out at some point anyway. So, I did as told and now THAT disc will not come out. I have tried everything to eject the stupid thing -- even sticking a credit card in there as chat room nerds suggested. Nada. Now, we need to take it into Apple to get it fixed at some point. Likely soon cause the sound is super duper irritating.

That pretty much sums up the trouble Camden gets into these days! He's constantly touching things he shouldn't, spilling stuff everywhere, peeing around house (potty training post to come), and his latest trend...tantrums!!

Still as cute as ever though so I suppose we'll keep him around.

In other news, I will soon need to change the title of this blog cause we are expecting another little one to our family so baby will make more than just A-B-C! :) More on that to come too, I'm sure.

So, if anyone still follows me, stay tuned! And here's some recent pics of our growing little man, c/o Aunty Jenny! (thank you!!)