same song, different tune (or whatever that saying is). trying to breastfeed C nearly drove me to the nut house and the same is true for new baby girl E. it's a bit easier with her cause at least she latches and nurses for long periods, but the way she sucks hurts my nipples and she's only now getting the hang of opening her mouth wide enough to get a semi-good latch. so what does that leave me with? sore, blistered, cracked nipples that are so raw i'm surprised they haven't fallen off. i literally walk around the house all day topless cause any material touching them hurts like hell. poor C must think i'm crazy and asks once in awhile, "where's your shirt?"
for some reason being unable to properly breastfeed make me feel like a failure. it stresses me out -- less so this time around -- but still, i just wish it could be easy and natural. you'd think it would be, right? i mean, if this were 100 years ago, how the heck would either of my kids survive? both of them needed formula. that thought crosses my mind all the time when my kids don't get enough milk from me; it's so baffling.
lactaction consultant coming tomorrow. hopefully she can help fix my latching problem so my nipples don't come out all flat and sore after every feeding. i'm hopeful but trying to be realistic too. cause if the problem can't be solved quickly, screw this breastfeeding crap. C had a bunch of formula and he seems to be just fine. i'd love to be one of those moms who has tons of milk and can breastfeed like it aint no thing. i wonder, are there moms out there whose babies just latch instantly and they experience NO nipple pain, no problems, no thing? if so, i envy them. all the stress and time that comes with the complexities of breastfeeding seriously will give me a nervous breakdown. so, fingers crossed that tomorrow will be good new from from consultant. if not, bye bye breastfeeding -- it is so not worth my sanity!
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