happy 9 months!

This seriously is how far away from the cake he needed to be in order for us to take a picture. About 2 seconds after snapping this photo, he immediately crawled to the cake. Sigh.

Camden's 9 months old! Recent milestones:

• Walking while holding onto the couch. (He can make his way up and down the couch pretty easily now).
  
  
• Clapping with sound. His hands make noise when he claps now and he's very excited about it.
  
  
• Can spot Elmo out in his Sesame Street book.
  
  
• Does "pom pom" for stomach in addition to his "atama"
  
  
• Starting to say "da da" although it comes and goes. This kid would still rather be mostly mute.
  

20 lbs and 28.5 in

That title makes it sound like stats for a newborn baby. Can you imagine if that were true?? Ouch.

Anyway, that's Cam's most recent growth measurements! At 9 months, he's 75% in height and 50% in weight. I'm most excited about the 75%!! Maybe this kid has a chance of being tall. Doc says he could be about 5' 8". That'd be pretty good. If he could stretch himself a couple more inches, that'd be even better.

Why am I so obsessed with him being tall? I'm not sure, really. I guess cause I'm tall-ish for a girl, I want him to be tall too. I like being tall. B wants him to have height since Brian's brother stole all of his. Plus, taller boys tend to be better at sports, or at least have a leg up (haha. Man, is that a carrie bradshaw pun moment on accident).

Only time will tell. In the end, what it really comes down to is when Camden's a teen, whether Brian will be scolding him looking up...or down. ;)

happy daddy day!

Brian's 1st Father's Day. What a great daddy he is. :) So great that he watched Camden on Saturday while I went shopping by myself for daddy gifts!

I had no idea what to get B for daddy day but thankfully at the last minute I came up with an idea. Brian's been complaining for awhile that he needs a new hat. So, I went to Lids and saw that you can make your own hat using a blank cap that they embroider. Perfect! Got him a black hat, put a blue "B" in the front and then on the side in smaller text had them embroider "Camden." It didn't come out exactly as I wanted it to, but I think it looks pretty good.

On Sunday, I let Brian sleep in and then we headed for Ko`olina to spend the afternoon at the beach! First time we've really been to the beach as a family.

Camden hated being in the water at first (this is his 3rd time now) but finally after slowly getting used to it, he liked it and even let me take him further out until the water covered his chest. Poor Brian got the "get me out of here" Camden while mommy got lucky and had the happier "I like the water" Camden toward the end of our outing.

Still, it was a fun day. Happy Father's Day!!

i hate that duckie.

Camden got this big yellow duck as a gift awhile back and for whatever reason, HATES it. I think he's scared cause it's almost as big as he is. That's my only explanation because it doesn't make noise, it doesn't move and isn't very frightening as stuffed animals go. But man oh man, Cam does not want to be around this duck! Brian and i think it's funny and put it out once in awhile to see what happens. We're mean parents, I know.

phantom crying

Recently, I've been hearing what I think is Camden talking/whining/crying through our shared wall. Usually it's early in the morning when I think he's getting up. In my dreamlike-still-sleepy state, I hear him making noise and reluctantly get out of bed to go and get him. A few times now (like today) I got up, put my ear to his door and heard nothing. This morning, I very quietly opened his door to peek inside and saw him still sleeping in his crib. Huh. Okay, then. Back to bed to sleep for another half hour until he really got up.

This has happened 3 or 4 times now. As I'm sleeping, I think I feel guilty about leaving him in his crib for too long and convince myself that he's crying when he's not. He's good about being patient in his crib for 10-15 min (sometimes longer, cause who knows when he actually gets up to when he makes enough noise for me to get up too) but I can't help but wonder every time I go in... just how long have you been up, Camden??

So, I now hear phantom crying. I guess mommyhood really can drive you to the nuthouse.

daddies have it EASY.

As baby gets older, some things get easier, others harder. But one thing remains the same: mommyhood is 10 times harder than daddyhood.

I love my booba (our little nickname for Camden). More than words can say. But being a mommy has layers of complexity that only another mommy can understand. It ranges from common, lingering things like "mommy guilt" to odd things like dying for Camden to go to sleep then missing him like crazy when he's finally sleeping. (Huh??) It's going from a seemingly normal, happy person to suddenly crying because your husband is going out for a bit and you're staying home with baby.

Sometimes, I don't even understand it myself. When I get to this point, all I can chalk it up to is "I need a break." But why?

Resentment. I resent the fact that daddies (aka Brian) have it so much easier. They can leave the house and completely turn off the "daddy button" and just be themselves. Sure, Brian misses Cam when he's away, but he doesn't feel as responsible for Cam's well-being or feel guilty about being gone. That's mommy's job.

Sure, mommy can go out too and take a break from baby. Be myself, hang out with girlfriends, grab a drink at happy hour. But I can't leave on a whim the way Brian can. He can just go and know that Camden is fully cared for in every way possible -- mommy is with him. When I want to go out, it takes planning. It's preparing for my departure ahead of time so Brian is in the state of mind to be the sole caregiver (possibly even needing a few directives). And that has nothing to do with how "good" of a daddy Brian is. He's a GREAT daddy. But it's just how it is -- a "daddy fact," if you will.

Frustration. Adding to the resentment, it frustrates me that daddy can never fully understand just how much easier he has it -- no matter how hard he tries. And believe me, Brian tries harder than most. But even as great of a guy that Brian is, he's not mommy. He didn't carry baby in the belly for 10 months and give birth to our little boy. He's incapable of knowing that kind of bond and the complex feelings/actions that come with it:

• Loving Camden more than anything yet getting frustrated with him for various reasons time and time again.
• Needing to protect him while at the same time being responsible for providing opportunities for him to explore, learn and grow to the best of his ability.
• Making sure his basic needs are met (food, sleep, cleanliness) and then teaching, entertaining and disciplining all other hours of the day.
• Finding ways to expose Camden to different places, people and experiences but feeling anxious about the time and planning it takes to accomplish each venture.
  
• And even enduring physical pain from keeping up with an active 9-month old.
  

Then of course, the kicker, feeling guilty for falling short on any of the above on any given day.

Envy. As if that wasn't enough, after resentment and frustration comes envy. Envy that Brian can go to work, use his braincells, and interact with adults. Envy that he can then come home and play with Camden for just an hour or two (with mommy usually still around). Envy that he will likely make Cam laugh cause he has loads of excitement and energy since he hasn't seen Camden all day. Envy that after playing, it's Camden's bedtime (which mommy helps with) and then Brian can take off his daddy hat and be Brian again.

So then I think, is the solution that I go back to work? Well, that has a whole other host of complicated mommy issues. Say I do go back to work (aside from the obvious issue of what the heck am I gonna do and the stress of finding a job)...What milestones will I miss? Will Cam prefer another caregiver over mommy? How will he react to mommy being away for long periods of time? Can I really be away from baby on a consistent basis? Is it worth it?

Maybe envy is better than the answers to my questions.

Irritation. After resentment, frustration and envy, comes good old fashioned irritation. Mostly I'm irritated that daddy is a guy and does annoying guy stuff. He makes a mess where I've just cleaned up. He's too lazy to wash bottles at night and leaves it until the morning. He waits until the last minute to do something I ask (like put down the floor mats in Camden's room or put new batteries in a toy) or forgets altogether so I have to keep it on my list and remind him. But again, don't get me wrong. Most men wouldn't even make the effort to wash a bottle and some expect the woman to do everything around the house without complaint. I have it good, and I know it. But once in awhile, I can't help but feel the irritation build up.

Anger. And finally, the cherry to top my sundae of crazy emotions is to just be mad at myself for feeling any of them. Because let's be honest, Brian can't help it. It's not his fault he's a male. It's not his fault that the grand design of procreation made it so that he's the daddy and I'm the mommy. It's IMPOSSIBLE for him to ever really be in my female/mommy shoes dealing with all of this. And that is Not. His. Fault.

So...life goes on and I take things as they come. I wouldn't trade being a mommy for anything in the world. The rewards far outweigh the hardships. But all you daddy's out there....LISTEN UP. You got it easy. Take a moment to smile about that and then appreciate the mother of your children every second of the day.

She deserves it.

recent milestones

• Pulling himself up to stand (mastered this a few days ago, so doing it at 8 1/2 months!)

• Pulled himself up in his crib for the first time today!
  
  
• Starting to "cruise" while holding onto furniture
  
  
• Seems to understand "Go get it," "Give it to mommy/daddy," "Where is it?" "Come here," "Clap clap," and "No."
  
  
• Knows "atama" (Japanese for head) and touches his head when singing a song or if you ask him "Where's your atama?" SO CUTE.
  
  
• Is steady sitting up on his knees.
  
  
• Loves eating baby mum mums and his Gerber puff "stars."
  
  
• Can wave bye-bye!
  

I want TROFAST.

Man, do I want this TROFAST storage unit from Ikea! Cam doesn't need it quite yet, but in a few months he probably will. I want this thing BAD. I like the three levels and the fact that the bins pull out like drawers. I also like the colored bins this lady has. And love the different sizes of bins! Altho, I'd prob just get one unit, not two like hers.


The labeling she did is pretty darn smart too!


Trying to see if I can order it online (for later) but so far there's a glitch on the Ikea website and I can't see if it's possible. (It's kinda looking like an in-store purchase only. Boo!!) Shipping would be a b*tch too.

But where there's a will, there's a way, right?! hehe. :P

clap clap!

I've been trying to teach him how to clap for awhile now and he's finally got the hang of it! I think part of the time he's upset that his hands don't make the same sound when he "claps" as mine do when I demonstrate. But most of the time, he seems pretty pleased with himself.

And yes, this kid just loves to perform when in his high chair. Don't ask me why. Ask him to do it on command at any other time and he looks at you like you're crazy.

my little beach bum

Cam's now been to the beach twice. Gonna try and get him out there more often but at least his feet have touched the ocean. Mommy has yet to go swimming but that might have more to do with my flabby post-pregnancy belly than anything else.

Here's a few pics from the beach. Sunshine makes for pretty photos.

cry baby matinee...Take A Sip!

On Wednesday, I went to my first cry baby matinee with four other mommies from my Baby Hui group. For those of you who've never heard of such a thing, cry baby matinee is where you bring your baby to the movie with you -- basically a movie specifically for mommies complete with a changing table at the back of the theater, lights a little brighter than a regular movie and the sound a bit lower.

In theory, this sounds like a great idea. Mommy can watch a movie and if baby cries, there's no embarrassing rush out of the theater or evil stares from fellow movie goers. (Although I must admit that I am one of the evil starers because I HATE screaming babies at the theater!)

In reality? Well, it was 50/50 for me. I was glad to be out with other mommies trying out the matinee. We watched Sex and the City 2, a movie I likely would have missed on the big screen as Brian wouldn't be caught dead at that movie, never mind working around Camden's schedule to watch it alone or with girlfriends. So, yay for cry baby matinee! On the other hand, it's hard to really enjoy, or even watch a movie properly when you're tending to baby all the time.

Started off with me having to feed him as the movie started. That was somewhat stressful as Camden was hungry and fussing and I was trying to maneuver his stroller to face me in the theater seat, prepare his formula and mix his food while keeping one eye on the screen for the opening credits. I missed most of the "gay wedding" except for Liza's Single Ladies performance cause, come on, that's not to be missed.

After Cam ate, I knew he was tired so I put him in the ergo to see if he'd take a nap. (That would be so perfect, right?!) So, I rocked back and forth in the back of the theater watching the movie and trying to get Cam to go to sleep. And you know what? He took a nap! Sweet. I thought to myself that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all. If he could sleep through the rest of the movie, I'd be GOLDEN. Sat down and Cam slept. So, I got to watch a solid half hour of undisturbed puns and outrageous fashion.

Then some lady in front of us let her two babies cry and scream for a few minutes and did nothing about it. Yeah, this is "cry baby matinee" but that doesn't mean let your kids cry indefinitely! So, the crying is what woke Camden up, not the movie. SO ANNOYING.

Now I gotta keep Cam entertained for the rest of the movie. Luckily, he was a good boy and didn't cry or fuss. I put him in my lap and he watched 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there. Then I carried him some more cause I felt guilty for letting him watch a movie (plus, he was getting restless).

So, in the end I'd say the matinee was successful but stressful. I don't know if I'd go again unless it was a movie that I really wanted to see. I did have fun though! It was definitely worth the experience.

But THE BEST part of the matinee was one scene in SATC that spoke to all of the moms in that theater. It was the "Take a Sip" conversation between Charlotte and Miranda. After much searching (I love it that much!) I finally found a clip of it online. All you moms out there...enjoy!!

camden is crawling!

A couple of days ago, he moved from scooting to really crawling and hasn't gone back since! 8 months and 1 week milestone.